Bad-tempered people 'may just be pissed off'

PEOPLE who seemed ill-tempered, stressed or otherwise miserable may be legitimately pissed off, it has been claimed.

So-called ‘grouchy’ people have retaliated against new claims linking moodiness with hormone imbalance.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Being short-tempered isn’t necessarily a mental illness or a sign that you aren’t eating enough bananas or getting sufficient sunlight or some fucking thing.

“In fact it’s most likely to be simple cause and effect, the cause usually being ‘other buggers’.

“Or it could be just a fleeting expression of genuine emotion in an otherwise entirely fake corporate world.

“Life doesn’t have to be one big ray of pretend sunshine. Oh wait, apparently it does.”

Sales co-ordinator Emma Bradford said: “Stop asking me if I’m ‘alright’.

“Of course I’m not alright, I have to spend my adult life doing a job I hate.

“I accept that as a necessary evil but I’m not going to feign interest in the lasagne you’re having for dinner because that would be humiliating.”



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Parental tolerance levels running dangerously low


AS schools across the UK remain closed due to snow, parents have warned that their supplies of patience are almost exhausted.

Father Tom Booker said: “My kids are just pointing at random objects in the house, asking me what they are, then when I try to tell them laughing and saying ‘you are fat’.

“When are they going to open the school? Or to put it another way, when are they going to open the fucking school?

“It doesn’t even have to be a school, just some sort of child containment warehouse would be fine. Basically any building that children can’t leave until at least 4pm.”