Hipster annoyed that obscure friend is becoming popular

A HIPSTER is angry that a woman he befriended before anyone else now has lots of other friends too.

Tom Logan, a ‘digital marketer’, insists he was friends with Joanne Kramer, a graphic designer and DJ, long before her social circle went mainstream.

Logan said: “Back in the day, nobody knew about Joanne except me, because she’d just moved to London from Cambridgeshire and she hadn’t got her wifi set up yet. We met at a bus stop, because I do things old school. I was in on the ground floor, before she met that art collective and moved into their shared exhibition loft.

“Now everyone’s like ‘oh yeah, Jo’s cool, I like her hair.’ Well I told her to do her hair like that. I actually prefer her old hair, which surprises a lot of people who don’t know she used to have a choppy fringe, but that just proves I take my Jo facts far more seriously than these arrivistes.”

Logan added he remembered the night Kramer broke through to widespread acceptance, when their local pub had a lock-in and she revealed a talent for doing animal impersonations, leading to a number of party invites and Facebook friend requests.

Kramer said: “Tom’s weird. I’m so glad I have actual friends now.”

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More business networking done through Airbnb than LinkedIn 

MORE people are finding employment and forming new business ventures through Airbnb than LinkedIn, it has emerged.

Staying in someone’s house and maybe even sitting down for a chat and a cup of tea with them has been found to be more effective than sending someone an email because you have read their CV online.

Airbnb landlord, Martin Bishop, said: “We had this lovely young couple  stay for a night and the girl told us about an idea she’d had for this vegan website which actually looked really interesting.

“She even cooked us something. If she had emailed me about it through LinkedIn I’d have blocked her and reported her to the police for harassment, but luckily she paid to come and stay in the large whiskey barrel I’ve had converted into a bedroom in the garden.”

Fellow landlord, Donna Sheridan, added: “I own a tiny studio flat in central London, which I don’t even live in, which can make me as much as £3000 a month in the summer for doing pretty much fuck all.

“So, if you check out my LinkedIn profile it says my current occupation is ‘Don’t have to work, mate. I own property in Central London’.”