LIVING through monumental historical events is exhausting because they all happen at f**king once, Britain has agreed.
After a week that has seen massive changes in public life, which themselves have followed years of apparently once-in-a-lifetime events, Britons have agreed that history is tiring to actually attend and they could do with a few years off.
Tom Logan of Cardiff said: “History was dull as dogshit at school. But now I’m living through it in real time it’s actually demoralising and knackering, which is worse.
“Rather than being able to skim over tedious paragraphs about economic collapse and get straight to the good stuff like the Swinging Sixties, I’ve had to experience every grim development that’s happened recently firsthand. It would be great to have a day off.”
32-year-old Nikki Hollis from Sheffield said: “When the credit crunch happened I thought that was my little slice of history. Then Brexit and the three prime ministers it’s toppled in six years, then Trump, then the pandemic, and now I realise 2008 was the appetiser before the frantic main course.
“What I wouldn’t give to live through a nice boring year like 1995 when Blur vs Oasis was the main news event. Instead of the never-ending tumble into everything being f**king awful forever.”
