Monday, 8th March 2021

Home-schooling mum reporting herself to Ofsted

A MOTHER attempting to teach her children at home has reported herself to Ofsted as ‘inadequate’.

After a fortnight of mixed-age and ability learning with her children, Lucy Parry has blown the whistle on the bad educational practices taking place within her kitchen.

She said: “After two miserable weeks I felt I had no choice. The time has come for this homeschool to enter special measures.

“It’s declined significantly since the last lockdown, when there was much more school spirit and I could send them out to run round the garden shrieking for two hours and call it double PE.

“The standard of education is frankly lamentable, and frequently after lunch there’s the unmistakable odour of alcohol on the teacher’s breath. That’s a safeguarding issue and a sackable offence.

“Ofsted need to come in as a matter of urgency, rate the school inadequate, take us into special measures and parachute in one of those inner-city headteachers who’ll discipline the kids while firing them up with a love of learning.

“Then I can sit at the back of the class on my phone ignoring it all, like in real school.”