Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Homeschooling mum apologises for not learning new language and how to play the glockenspiel

A SINGLE mother in lockdown with three children has said she is sorry that she won’t be coming out of this experience with a new skill.

Emma Bradford instead divides her time between trying to school her three primary-age boys and fighting off the creeping sense of dread over how she is going to pay next month’s utility bills.

Bradford said: “I keep reading these articles on social media telling me off for not enhancing my career prospects because I’m frittering my time away being kicked in the shins by my boys under the kitchen table whilst trying to teach them about quadratic equations.

“Maybe the articles are right. It’s been over a month, so by now I should have a conversational level of Mandarin and reached grade 2 on the oboe.

“I guess I must just be lazy. After I’ve spent two hours putting the boys to bed I know I should be taking an online course in trigonometry or something, but I find myself necking glasses of wine whilst freaking out about being evicted instead.

“Sorry everyone. I guess I’ve failed lockdown.”