Hot MILFS in your area want you to babysit

NEARBY MILFs are gagging for you to look after their kids for a few hours so they can go out for a drink with their mates.

Sexy mums in your area are yearning for a strapping young man such as yourself to pop around right now and take care of their burning babysitting desires, no strings attached.

Ravishing mum of two Emma Bradford purred: “I’m at home all alone, except for my daughters who need to be in bed by seven. Have you got what it takes to satisfy me by looking after them, stud?

“Don’t be shy, I’ll make it worth your while. You can help yourself to all the snacks you want and if I’m not back until after midnight I’ll pay you an extra tenner. I know that’s what all men secretly crave.”

Mother Joanna Kramer with huge naturals murmured: “I’m lying here wearing nothing but stretched out maternity leggings, a baggy T-shirt I got from an old work do, and my lumpy cotton dressing gown. Don’t keep me waiting all night, the bar shuts at eleven.

“I’m not looking for a long term setup, this could be a one-time deal for all I care. In, out, we don’t even need to exchange names if that’s what you’re into. I’m desperate, my usual babysitter is on holiday.

“I’m willing to do anything to make this happen. Except sex of course, I’m happily married with a loving family and don’t want to throw that away.”

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Adventurous single man has masturbated in every room in house

A SINGLE man who is unafraid to let adventure and experimentation into his sex life has masturbated in every room in his house.

Oliver O’Connor, aged 36, refuses to be the kind of unimaginative man who restricts his solo self-love sessions to the bedroom, instead preferring to keep his manual emissions spontaneous, risky and exciting.

He said: “Too many men, when they’ve been single for years, fall into the same old dull routine. If they’re not watching porn on a laptop they’re not interested.

“I don’t ever want to get bored with wanking. Or to claim ‘it’s not really that important to me any more’, so I keep it fresh, I keep myself interested, I indulge my wild side.

“Is it easy bringing yourself off in the utility room? Does it feel natural, going at it two-handed in the kitchen? Is there a lot of visual stimulation in the loft? No, no and technically yes since I’ve got a full run of Razzle up there but it’s all boxed up.

“But there’s a thrill to cranking it standing wedged by the washing machine you can’t capture anywhere else. The danger of ejaculating on my own marble countertops brings me alive. And if you’ve never brought yourself off on the stairs, you have to try it.”

He added: “I’d like to take the next step and start wanking with the curtains open or maybe in the garden. But our sexually repressive society frowns on it.”