How to come to the aid of a common person lost in Waitrose

WHAT should you do if you encounter a disoriented common person who’s accidentally wandered into Waitrose? Here’s how to help them while avoiding risk to yourself.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

Seven more feeble threats from that wanker Putin

WITH his questionable threats to cut off the West’s gas supplies, Vladimir Putin seems determined to be a really shit Bond villain. Here the Russian president sets out his other not-so-diabolical schemes.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now