However wide you make parking bays we will park across two of them, confirm 4×4 drivers

PEOPLE who drive massive jeep things have confirmed that they will always park across two bays even if there is loads of space.

After NCP confirmed plans to widen bays to accommodate ridiculous Range Rover type things, owners of such vehicles said it would not prevent their deliberately selfish behaviour.

Range Rover driver Mary Fisher said: “You could make those things a mile wide and I would still park right across the dividing line.

“I am a pathetically insecure person, which is why I drive an armoured vehicle, and that sort of behaviour is one way of getting the world to notice me.”

Tom Booker, who has some massive Porsche thing that only a fool would drive, said: “Mine even has special cameras in the rear bumper so that when I’m parking I can get the white line right between my tyres.

“I wear one of those quilted Barbour gilets too, just to make you really hate me.”