A MASSIVELY important thing was decided yesterday while Gmail users were offline.
The thing, which will affect everything else forever, was decided in just under an hour during a series of email exchanges involving everybody.
But experts say that because the decision did not involve Gmail users there is a very strong chance the thing that was decided will be in the interests of every single person alive, except Gmail users.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “At every key stage of yesterday’s decision-making process I sent out an urgent email asking Gmail users for their input.
“I received no replies and therefore assumed they were okay with it. I found this very surprising given the nature of the thing that has now been decided.
“I must admit, I kept thinking, ‘if I was a Gmail user I would absolutely not want this to be the decision and I am surprised they are not sending me emails filled with anger and abject terror’.”
He added: “Oh well, what’s done is done. As everybody, except Gmail users, decided yesterday, there is no going back on this decision.
“In fact, we all decided that would be impossible.”
Nikki Hollis, a Gmail user, said: “Why are all my friends emailing me to ask if I’ve decided who’s going to get my iPhone?”