I choose not to identify as a pet

By Wayne Hayes, cat

I find the term ‘pet’ highly problematic. Just because we live in your houses, eat your food and periodically enjoy being stroked between the ears in a highly specific way, do not assume that we are your property.

Personally speaking I choose not to identify as ‘pet’ but as ‘quadrupedal co-habitant’. Besides maintaining active interests in hunting and boundary patrolling, I am working on a theatre piece called ‘Paw’.

I am also launching a financial advice website in the late autumn, and have designed a range of chairs.

Did you notice? Did you see beyond my expressive triangular face and soft towel-like fur? You did not.

And that is why I did a shit on the patio.