A CAT has vowed to destroy the six-foot Christmas tree currently in her living room.
Despite agreeing a truce with her owners, six year-old tabby Anya launched a surprise attack at three o’clock this morning.
Owner Nikki Hollis said: “I can only assume the vet that put down her father was green and bristly with a small plastic fairy for a hat.
“When I got up this morning she was patiently pressing a sparkly deer we got from John Lewis into the depths of her litter tray, so that’s not going back up.”
Anya said: “When we first met I was play-fighting with it, like I do with anything in the house, from bits of fluff under the sofa to people’s ankles. But then it deliberately fell over and scared the bejesus out of me.
“I get enough shit from the hoover around here, so the last thing I need is that big sparkly bastard giving me grief.
“This ends today.”