AN 81-YEAR-OLD white man is confused about why he isn’t running the world.
Widower Roy Hobbs spends his days gardening and watching documentaries about bridges that got blown up in the war, but he would happily control the stock market and hold governments in the palm of his hand.
He said: “Apparently old white men run the world, but I can’t even get someone round to fix my boiler.
“I wouldn’t mind being a business kingpin or head of some secret banking society, making decisions that influence the lives of millions. Not that I’m particularly into those things, but it’d give me an excuse to chat to more people.
“A bit of power might be good though. In my big office I’d be like ‘bring me some Hob Nobs!’ and bang my fist against my massive desk.
“Then a young lad would appear with Hob Nobs and a cup of tea that is neither too milky nor too strong.
“But perhaps that level of influence would corrupt me and I’d end up demanding crab paste sandwiches with the crusts removed. That’s when you know you’ve lost it.”