Friday, 30th October 2020

Ignorance really is bliss, halfwits confirm

IDIOTS are in universal agreement that not knowing anything is indeed the secret to eternal happiness.

People unburdened by the curse of knowledge have revealed that they’re free from worry about coronavirus, climate change, and the existence of nuclear weapons.

Simpleton Stephen Malley said: “At school I realised that education was a one-way ticket to misery. Since then I’ve sacked off learning entirely and I haven’t looked back.

“I drift through life without a care in the world. I can’t even spell ‘global pandemic’, let alone get my head around the terrifying implications of what one could be.”

Imbecile Donna Sheridan added: “Smart people like Einstein and Danny Dyer always seem miserable. Even that statue of the man having a think looks down in the dumps.

“They want to cheer up by putting down boring old books and scroll mindlessly through social media instead.

“That’s what I do, as well as sharing tweets from that harmless funny man Donald Trump just to put a smile on everyone’s face.”