Thursday, 25th February 2021

Industry expert claims his industry is hardest hit

AN industry expert has appeared on television asserting that of all British industries, his has been the hardest hit of all. 

Spokesman Martin Bishop told BBC Breakfast and Good Morning Britain that the industry he represents has been devastated by Brexit and/or Covid, and that the government must step in.

He continued: “These issues affect us all, but my industry is the most important industry. The affects of what’s happening will be far-reaching, the implications are unreal, and I demand people share my concerns.

“Confusing, nihilistic data about the current and projected condition of the industry must be spoken about with a soft but anger-tinged voice, to arouse public sympathy.

“Rishi Sunak must act immediately by providing grants, loans and investments of at least half-a-billion pounds or my industry may disappear forever, which would be a terrible loss to Britain.

“I’m the best person to address the seriousness of issues facing the industry because I am slightly northern, but also have very good hair.”