INFLATION remains stable as long as you ignore all the things that have gone up enormously, experts have confirmed.
The cost of staplers, baking powder, hinges, wallpaper paste, boiled sweets and trouser presses has barely risen in the last year, leading economists to believe that you are now incredibly prosperous.
Meanwhile, rail fares going up by the amount you were hoping to spend on a holiday has been dismissed by the experts as a ‘one-off’.
Norman Steele, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: “Every time I buy a new stapler I notice the price has remained remarkably constant.
“Granted, in a few years time a lot of people will be living in upturned, burnt out railway carriages commandeered by proletarian collectives driven to desperate, violent measures.
“However, I shouldn’t imagine this will affect the price of stapling at all.”