MILLIONS of iPhone users were totally told off by their boss after their favourite toy in the whole world forgot to get them up for work.
A software bug affected the rectangular nipple’s ability to effectively parent its charges, leaving them vulnerable to self-reliance for the first time since 2007.
Many were found by family and friends rocking in a foetal position and asking when phone was going to wake-up.
Martin Bishop, a 37 year-old Manchester United fan and Transformers enthusiast, said: “It’s just like the time I got evicted because it didn’t tell me to pay my mortgage. I’d call social services if I could get a signal.”
As Apple engineers focused on fixing the latest glitch in the Â£600 calculator, the company pledged to keep its stores open round the clock, offering advice on whether to eat vegetables and how to sit up properly like a big boy.
Specially trained counsellors will also be on hand to assure customers their phones still love them and do not want to touch them in the bad place.
Bishop added: “I got to work at ten-thirty and my boss was all like ‘what time do you call this?’ and I was like holding my phone up saying ‘ask him‘ and my boss was like ‘well, all this cardio-thoracic surgery still needs doing’.”
Meanwhile Apple has apologised for the phoney-woney boo-boo and insisted it would not affect its new OSX-powered toilet roll holder that knows when you’ve finished doing potty.