ASKING someone washing their car to ‘do yours next’ is now illegal.
Cliched neighbour car-washing banter along the lines of “You can do mine next if you like mate” will incur a three-point penalty and a fine of up to £800.
A government spokesman said: “People want to feel safe on the road, and also in their driveways.
“Unfunny car-based neighbour chit-chat can leave drivers in a foul mood that could lead to more aggressive driving and perhaps even death.
“For too long chirpy suburban twats have relied on the fact that you can’t just tell them to get fucked because you will have to see them again tomorrow.”
Driver Wayne Hayes said: “If I can’t say ‘When’s your test?’ when him next door nudges the bins while reversing, then what’s the point of even having a car?”