BRITAIN’S average standard of living will soon be no better than it was just over five years ago.
Bank of England governor Mervyn King said inflation and wage freezes meant take home pay will be equivalent to 2005 levels when all people could afford was loads and loads of stuff.
King said: “Unfortunately this is the price we have to pay for the greatest financial catastrophe in living memory.
“It’s time to batten down the hatches, look out your bank and credit card statements for 2005 and spend that amount of money instead.
“Stay safe, hold each other close and may God have mercy on us all.”
Meanwhile experts have warned that with the economy reaching 2005 levels people could be forced to power their homes using electricity and drive cars with diesel particulate filters and intelligent braking.
Julian Cook, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: “I still think it’s 50-50 that high definition televisions will be uninvented, but we are looking at a situation where, all things being equal, something as familiar and everyday as the Samsung Galaxy Pad would not actually exist.
“It’ll certainly be an interesting challenge. How did people get food in 2005? Did they even have online shopping back then or did they all have to go to a large building with a car park?”
He added: “And how did they make smoothies if they could not afford a smoothie maker with little feet and a big smiley face? Did they have to mash the bananas by hand or fashion some contraption using an old spinning wheel and a series of rapidly rotating forks?