London is the world’s friendliest city, now f**k off, say residents

A SURVEY to find the world’s friendliest city has been told in no uncertain terms that it is London, unless the researchers have a problem with that.

The researchers returned from London stressing just how welcoming the people were and that they never want to talk about their trip ever  again.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “The people of London are incredibly friendly. They were absolutely adamant about that.

“In fact they were so friendly that they got quite angry that we could even insinuate there was any doubt as to how friendly they are. Please don’t make me go back there.”

Critics have suggested the survey was flawed as researchers were unable to interview 99.9 percent of the city’s residents as they were far too busy to stop and be friendly.

Londoner Wayne Hayes said: “Someone stepped out in front of me with a questionnaire, so I did the friendliest thing I could think of and shoulder-barged her to the ground.”