A LONDONER’S journey to work resembles Odysseus’s journey home from Troy according to her self-serving bullshit account of the saga.
Carolyn Ryan of Croydon claims to have used seven different forms of transport to reach her central London office during a Tube strike because, as a senior onboarding manager, they would collapse without her for even a single day.
She said: “Outsiders from the provinces wouldn’t understand. Most of them live next door to the factory they work at. They’d never have our resourcefulness.
“I began by walking for 45 minutes, then I caught the tram, and from there I got an overground train which is completely different from a normal Underground train no matter how much my mum says ‘they’re the same’.
“My second train terminated early so I got a bus the wrong way until I spotted a discarded Lime bike, hopped on and cycled to the cable-car which took me to the Uber boat up the Thames. Then a quick scooter ride and I was there.
“It just shows how ingenious and adaptable we Londoners are and what a wealth of transport options we have. I’m actually prouder to live here than ever. And it only cost £835.90 on my Oyster card.”
Tube driver Bill McKay said: “You can’t even massively inconvenience the f**king bastards without it becoming an opportunity for one-upmanship.”
