Looters return stuff to Games Workshop
SCORES of disappointed rioters queued up this morning to return goods they had mistakenly looted from Games Workshop.
The crestfallen thieves had raided the store hoping for a PS3 or Nintendo bounty but arrived home to find they had stolen a box containing 300 unpainted Orcs and a board game called Beyond the Ultraforest of Kwang.
Martin Bishop, 19, said: “I am returning The Runering of Fangor.
“It includes two dice, each with about 40 sides and instructions on how to gain the trust of a ‘cloud wizard’.
“And yet somehow I’m the fucking bad guy.”
He added: “Nevertheless I am now immune to Dwarven magic, so it hasn’t been a complete waste of time.”
Meanwhile, historical kitsch outlet Past Times reported the return of a pair or resin bookends in the shape of the Egyptian cat-god Sekhmet and 254 teak statues of a fat, reclining Buddha.
And in Manchester, people who stole copies of Limitless starring Bradley Cooper have been setting fire to them and throwing them back through the window of HMV.
Roy Hobbs, manager of Games Workshop in Birmingham, said: “Welcome home my children. Let me bathe you in the healing milk of Fagnarbarak.
“I knew we would meet again.”