Man accidentally says 'she'd get it' while watching TV with his mum 


A MAN accidentally said ‘she’d get it’ while watching a television advert with his mother, it has been confirmed.

Tom Booker said the comment emerged after he had drank a few glasses of wine and completely forgotten he was with his mother and not one of his loutish friends.

Booker said: “I was a tiny bit pissed and neither of us had said anything for a while so when the very attractive girl popped up in the advert, it just kinda slipped out.

“I think I pulled it back though.”

He added: “After I said it, I then said, ‘She’d get the job that she deserves based on her abilities in the work place and her overall drive and ambition’.

“So I’m pretty sure I got away with it.”

Hipster politician thinks Article 49 is really underrated


A HIPSTER politician has claimed that Article 49 of the Lisbon Treaty is actually a lot better than Article 50.

Julian Cook said he understands why everyone is talking about Article 50 but they should also check out 49 and even 48 if they can get a copy.

Cook said: “Just listen to this – ‘Any European State which respects the values referred to in Article 2 and is committed to promoting them may apply to become a member of the Union. The European Parliament and national Parliaments shall be notified of this application’.

“That’s just great. It’s well, well ahead of it’s time.”

He added: 
“You can totally see how they were building towards Article 50 but without all the gloss and stuff.”

Asked what he thought about Article 51 Cook said:  “It’s just too commercial. I mean, ‘The provisions of this charter are addressed to the institutions, bodies’ – blah blah, heard it all before mate.”