Man going back to live with parents for sheer joy of their company

A 30-YEAR-OLD man has gone back to live with his parents, insisting he really enjoys their company.

Nathan Muir said: “I was going through a rough patch and I had to make the decision to just go back to live with my parents, because I really like hanging out with them, whereas my flatmates suck.

“It’s great when my mum calls me from downstairs and yells things unintelligibly. It’s one of the small joys of life.

“Breakfast with my dad while he asks me if I’ve found work? Count me in. You only get one dad, so you better cherish those moments.”

He added: “Also, I’m a bit too embarrassed to bring a girl home after a night out. So I’ve stopped having sex and my life is a lot easier now. It’s just fantastic.”

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Stranger made conversation at urinal

A STRANGER has attempted to strike up a conversation with the man urinating next to him, it has emerged.

The man, in his early 30s, took up a position at the urinal in a North London pub on Saturday evening, began urinating and then said to 28-year-old Tom Logan: “Feels great, doesn’t it?”

Logan said: “He then said that he likes to aim for the little blue cube things, as if we were standing at the bar talking about crisp flavours.

“I was utterly paralyzed, so much so that I stopped urinating.

“I had a sense that something was off when he picked the urinal right next to me when all the others were free.

“He really just wanted to have a chat while urinating. I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of the total collapse of society.”