Britain is top place to live, claims sarcastic think tank

BRITAIN is one of the best places in the world, according to a sarcastic think tank.

The Paris-based quality of life experts said: “We particularly like the food in your country, because frying imparts such a deliciously oily texture.

“Also your town centres are great, they feel so safe and welcoming on a Friday and Saturday night, especially at those lovely corporate nightclubs, or after a successful game of your national sport, soccer.

“Obviously the work-life balance, friendly muscular dogs and the weather are great too.”

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Book with biggest impact on man's life is microwave user manual

A MAN has confirmed that the book which changed his life forever is the user manual for his microwave oven.

Martin Bishop, 31, said: “That part about the defrosting option? Oh my god. Changed everyhting. I couldn’t recommend it more. The pictures are really nice, too.

“It just came into my life at the right moment. I had just lost my job, I had broken up with my girlfriend and I needed some direction in my life.”

“I just found it by chance in a drawer in the kitchen and decided to take a look at it. It’s an acquired taste, for sure, but it really changed me for the better.”

He added: “I now feel more independent, more confident, and just more relaxed in my day-to-day life. I just wish I had read it when I was younger.”