Man has strange need to undermine homelessness

A MAN has a strange desire to downplay homelessness whenever it is mentioned, it has emerged.

Following reports that the number of rough sleepers is increasing, Roy Hobbs yet again started insisting that people sleeping on the pavement is not really a problem.

Office manager Hobbs said: “A lot of them are only doing it until they get a place in a hostel, so that’s not really homelessness, more like ‘urban camping’.

“Some are foreign, so they don’t count because they’d be sleeping on the street in their own country anyway. They probably think a change is as good as a rest.”

Hobbs has shared his views on the internet where assorted twats agreed with him, including a woman who believes homeless people are left-wing agitators trying to make the government look bad.

Co-worker Emma Bradford said: “It’s like it’s somehow his specialist subject even though he has no experience or knowledge of it.

“Also I think he’s got this weird, unforgiving right-wing thing going on where people deserve to be homeless if they didn’t do very well in their GCSEs.”

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Everyone in WhatsApp group beginning to despise each other

COLLEAGUES in a WhatsApp group have begun to hate one another with a burning passion.

Employees of PR firm Digital Viking set up the group to share jokes, stories and information, but the glimpse into one another’s lives has made them mortal enemies.

Brand analyst Donna Sheridan said: “At first, everyone was excited to be able to chat all the time, like we were all in a lovely virtual break room with emojis and Ryan Gosling reaction gifs.

“But then the in-jokes started, and the brunch photos.

“No-one responded for hours when I tried to organise a trip to the cinema, except my boss who made a passive-aggressive joke about my project deadline. I used to enjoy working there but now I want to burn the building down with everyone inside it. 

“There’s a fucking inspirational quote for you.”

Content manager Tom Booker said: “I spend more time analysing the hidden meaning of WhatsApp comments than I spend doing my job. I thought it would be a modern-day MSN Messenger, like being back at school.

“Turns out it’s just backbiting, crap jokes and sexual frustration. Like being back at school.”