A MAN has convinced himself he is a high-powered business leader by doing some work on a train.
Sales executive Tom Logan has successfully given himself delusions of grandeur by using a cheap Dell laptop and making unnecessary phone calls on a train near Rugby.
Logan said: “The very fact that I can work on a train using my state-of-the-art Windows Vista portable computer means that what I am doing must be highly significant.
“The project, which is sending an email to a hotel that may wish to use the services of the unreliable carpet cleaning firm I work for, requires me to make numerous phone calls to my office in the style of a Wall Street trader.
“I can tell other people on the train are impressed, because a woman just looked up from her iPhone game.”
Some fellow train passengers believed Logan was important in the business world but did not care, while most concluded that he was yet another sales bullshitter.
Company director Donna Sheridan said: “I tend to do important business deals in the office and not shout ‘Get in!’ when I sign a contract.
“However we all have to start somewhere, and I wish Tom all the best in his application to The Apprentice.”