Man meeting new girlfriend’s mates unaware of how much they already know about him

A MAN meeting his new girlfriend’s mates for the first time is unaware of the extensive knowledge they already have about him.

Wayne Hayes is looking forward to an evening in the pub with the ‘girl squad’ while totally ignorant of the extreme vetting he has been through to get to this point.

Squad member Mary Fisher said: “We were initially a bit concerned about his apparent lack of ambition, but after much debate, we’ve agreed that ‘freelance graphic designer’ is a job of sorts.

“We were also really moved by the story of his difficult relationship with his father and brother, especially after his cousin Mark got off with his last girlfriend during that family holiday in Corfu.”

She added: “And, of course, we’ve heard all about their sex life. He shouldn’t be afraid to experiment more, we’ll probably bring that up later in a sort of informal round table discussion.”

Meanwhile, Hayes’s friends are vaguely aware that he has been dating someone after a message about having to miss a five-a-side game to go to her birthday meal.