AFTER two days of ‘posh woman has the baby’, a man has realised he actually misses news about Brexit.
Tom Logan confirmed that after reading a news item about which nursery the baby will attend he craved complex, mind-numbing details about the Customs Union.
He said: “When my wife gave birth I told her ‘good for you’, but now I’ve got the BBC sending me push notifications about somebody else’s child like I should give a shit.
“At one point they were saying ‘this baby is huge’ and I was like ‘oh man, maybe it’s like a little adult? Maybe it has a beard?
“Turns out it was just like a normal sized, non-freakishly large baby.
“So I then Googled ‘could customs arrangements in Switzerland be a solution to the Irish border question’. At this point I’d even endure a tweet from Daniel Hannan.”
Logan added: “I’ll spend the rest of the week Googling Brexit hot takes until everybody remembers the baby is just a collection of cells fired out by another collection of cells, and is not automatically more interesting just because those cells are banging some bald prince.”