A MAN is studying a menu and making inane comments in a bid to convince his fellow diners that he might ordering anything but a burger.
Tom Logan has ordered a burger on each of the last 34 occasions he has eaten out, but seems intent on maintaining the charade that he could be more adventurous.
Fellow diner Emma Bradford said: “It’s embarrassing to hear Tom try and sound like a discerning gourmand and make out he’s tempted by the spinach and mushroom gnocchi. He pronounces it ‘gunoki’.
“He’ll eulogise about pan-fried haddock, even though I’m sure he’s never eaten a fish in his life. I wouldn’t even put it past him to ask the waiter what the soup of the day is, and then furrow his brow in contemplation.”
She added: “Then he’ll casually mention that the burger actually sounds quite good, as if it’s the first time he’s ever heard of the concept of putting meat in a bun.”
After wolfing down his cheeseburger Logan will then gently enquire as to whether anyone might have dessert.
Bradford said: “He’ll act as if he’s trying to gather support for a coup d’etat. But we all know he’s going to have sticky toffee pudding even if he has to sit there and eat it on his own.”