Man reckons he is a good dancer

A MAN has decided he dances with both flair and skill.

Tom Booker, from Stevenage, has been convinced of his dance floor skills since his teenage years despite hundreds of people telling him to either get better at it or just stop.

Booker said: “Haters are going to hate. It’s as simple as that.

“And even if those haters are my girlfriend, both my sisters, my dad, everyone I went to school and college with, all the people I’ve ever worked with and my best mate who I once gave some of my bone marrow to, it doesn’t matter.

“I am an incredible dancer.”

Booker’s friend, Emma Bradford, said: “He bobs his head like one of the Flowerpot Men, it’s creepy. Meanwhile, his legs jerk around as if there are 200 frogs trying to escape from his trousers.

“And he really shouldn’t be dancing with that level of enthusiasm to Everybody Hurts.”

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I know buying clothes online is insane but I'm going to keep doing it anyway

By Nikki Hollis

I started buying clothes from the internet some time around 2005.

Despite quickly concluding that going to a shop, trying things and then buying them is less likely to result in me looking like a lunatic, I am still pissing money up the wall 13 years later.

I know that everything I buy online will be in some way unsuitable, weird or flawed. They will make me look like an escaped mental patient or a hippo in a boob tube.

Do they just get all the clothes that went wrong in the factory and send them to online shoppers because they know they’ll try them on, realise they look dreadful and then leave them on a chair for six months until it’s too late to get a refund?

If I hadn’t persisted in buying insane clothes I could have probably bought something genuinely useful like a car by now.

I wonder if my local Ford dealer would do a part exchange on 19 Aztec print playsuits?