Man who claims he's neither a boob or an arse guy asked what he likes about women then

A MAN who says he is neither a boob man nor an arse man has forced friends to conclude that there must be not be anything he likes about women.

Tom Booker was in a casual conversation with friends at his local when the issue of preferring breasts or buttocks came up and he made the outrageously misogynist assertion that he was not bothered about either.

Friend Martin Bishop said: “It was a standard Saturday session, but a couple of pints in things started getting very heated. Roy loves a girl with big jugs while Stephen has a long-standing crush on Kim Kardashian. They’d reached a stalemate.

“I got back with my round and asked Tom to settle things. But, incredibly, he said he’d never been particularly drawn to either. And this with women in hearing distance.

“Roy was first to the obvious conclusion, and said ‘So what do you like about women, then?’ Tom starts floundering and saying ‘there’s more to it than body parts’ and calling his mates ‘sexist’ like they were the bad guys.”

Booker’s girlfriend Mary Fisher said: “Martin told me about the chat. I confronted Tom. He blathered some bollocks about ‘personality’ and ‘lovely hair’ that I saw right through.

“I’m absolutely horrified to find out who I’ve been with all this time. It makes you wonder, are there any good men left in the world?”

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The beloved TV pets from your childhood who are long dead

REMEMBER the adorable animals who had you pressing your nose to your TV screen as a small child? Wondering where they are now? Get ready for bad news: 

Shep from Blue Peter

Gorgeous Border Collie Shep, best pal of John Noakes, the bringer of joy to millions of children with his zest for life and playful spirit. He’d gambol about and lighten your 1970s heart as you tucked into a meal of Smash, and probably still would today if he hadn’t died in 1987.

Pippin from Come Outside

Auntie Mabel’s canine companion Pippin was half-Tibetan Terrier, half-Bearded Collie, and completely adorable. Always up to mischief, she inspired millions to get a dog just like her. Recycling fans will be heartened to know that the first Pippin died in the ‘90s, and her grandson, who replaced her, is also now dead.

Eddie from Frasier

Adorable and quick-witted Jack Russell Eddie was actually played by a father-son duo – who reportedly couldn’t stand to be in the same room together. Showbiz, eh? Even the dogs are prima donnas. Since the show concluded they were both sent to live on a farm, meaning they died.

Rowlf from The Muppet Show

Cuddly Muppet Rowlf first took to our screens back in 1963. An average dog’s life expectancy is about 12 years. Do the math. His modern iteration of him is likely a great-grandson pretending to be the original canine or, and only read on if you’re ready to accept this, his reanimated corpse.

K9 from Doctor Who

Sorry, nerds. No amount of technical wizardry could keep this archaic robot running since 1977. The original K9 was sold for scrap soon after he first hit screens, and his successors have all been converted into porn computers and sex robots.