A MAN who says “Is anyone really surprised by this?” in response to every piece of appalling or shocking news is beginning to annoy the f*ck out of people.
Office worker Martin Bishop claims to have been unsurprised by the rise of Donald Trump, Boris Johnson becoming prime minister and even the disappointing ending of Game Of Thrones.
Colleague Tom Logan said: “Any time anyone so much as raises an eyebrow at something in the news, Martin’s in there claiming that he was expecting it all along.
“He’s been unsurprised by everything from the referendum result to the heatwave. He really does have amazing predictive powers, especially about things that have already happened.
“He even did it with 9/11, saying ‘I’m just surprised anyone is surprised’. With his knowledge of world events I’m surprised he hasn’t been recruited by the CIA.
“However he failed to predict Karen loudly referring to him as ‘that know-it-all d*ckhead Martin’ just as he walked into the office, which was awkward but also very hilarious.”
When asked if he had any tips about future events that might surprise others but not him, Bishop simply smiled in an insufferably smug manner, unaware that everyone was thinking ‘w*nker’.
