A MAN who despises everything Theresa May stands for has found himself strangely worried about her wellbeing.
Tom Logan was left feeling conflicted after May’s recent TV appearances led him to believe she is on the brink of some kind of meltdown.
Teacher Logan said: “May is a horrible careerist who will fuck Britain over for the sake of her own squalid ambitions, but I also want to make her a nice cup of tea and give her a hug.
“When she was interviewed about the TV debate she had this twitchy, ‘on the edge’ look in her eyes. I thought she was either going to burst into tears or flip out like John Rambo go on some sort of rampage that ends with her climbing up a pylon.
“Also she keeps laughing madly at things that aren’t funny. The last person I saw doing that was my old neighbour who thought there were aliens living in his plug sockets.
“I’m really concerned about the evil Tory witch. I think for her mental wellbeing she needs to consider a gentler career like working for the National Trust helping school groups do brass rubbings.”