A MAN who never knows when it is appropriate to tip always decides it would be less embarrassing not to, friends have noticed.
Tom Booker of Crewe suffers such an agony of indecision about tipping too little or too much, too early or too late, that he adroitly sidesteps the issue by never tipping at all.
Friend Joanna Kramer explained: “It’s a very specific form of social anxiety that only hits Tom whenever he has to calculate the gratuity for service staff.
“In restaurants he’ll start working out random percentages when handed the bill, before taking a fiver out of his wallet and putting it back in. Then he’ll walk out with an uncertain backward glance, doubting whether he got it right in leaving nothing.
“When handing cash to taxi drivers you can see his mouth move noiselessly as he wonders what to tip. He might be summoning the courage to say ‘keep the change’ but he never does and just pockets the cash instead.
“It’s a shame he finds these moments so difficult to navigate. And a shame he ends every night out with a £20 profit.”