A MAN is wondering if he is allowed to have a swan now or if they have immediately passed to King Charles.
Nathan Muir, from Nailsworth, would like to know if the long-necked waterfowl are going spare and if he can take one home from his local river as a pet.
Muir said: “Everyone knows the Queen owned all the swans, but is Charles really going to want them? Her Royal Highness was a well-known animal lover, whereas he’s more into hippy shit like homeopathy and organic farming.
“Also, he’s going to be too busy learning how to be King to bother faffing around with birds. He’s got to practice his wave and train himself to stop trying to influence government policy and saying weird things about tampons.
“So I’ll just nab a swan from the stream round the back of Tesco and take it home for the pond in my garden. It’ll look well classy next to the novelty nude garden gnome.
“I know it might attack me, but, now the Queen’s gone, am I allowed to whack it on the beak with a shoe if it does? Only seems fair.”