PEOPLE are finding it hard to believe how much a youth worker earns helping teenagers learn skills that are basically hobbies.
Martin Bishop earns £37,000 organising activities such as doodling on a designated graffiti wall and rap battles, causing lesser-paid acquaintances to feel bitter and often nauseous.
Friend Tom Logan said: “I’m all in favour of worthwhile youth work, but what next? Is he going to teach them how to hang round McDonald’s or get shit hot at Assassin’s Creed?
“Maybe I’m just jealous because I earn 23k as a paramedic, but I can’t help but feel these kids will be a bit disappointed when they discover ‘DJing and graffiti’ isn’t actually a job.”
Bishop said: “If you don’t keep young people occupied they could easily set up crack gangs and kill innocent bystanders with their MAC-10s, although admittedly that has never happened in Knutsford.
“However I have to admit I’m slightly concerned about encouraging kids in careers that have less chance of success than becoming fucking Han Solo.
“Also in the unlikely event they do succeed I’ll have unleashed 25 Calvin Harrises and 50 Cents on the world and I may have to kill myself.”