A COUPLE are inexplicably still on bad terms despite having just had a massive row.
Nikki Hollis lost it at boyfriend Wayne Hayes after ongoing selfish behaviour culminated in him pretending to be ‘working late’ while actually in the pub.
She said: “It’s well established that the best way to ‘get things out in the open’ and begin the healing process is to have a massive argument with lots of swearing. So I went to the pub and called Wayne a ‘weasel-faced manchild fuckwit’ in front of his mates.
“He responded by calling me ‘Robocop’ which frankly I thought was weak but still annoying.”
The argument continued for 28 minutes, taking in both of their character flaws and physical imperfections like having a big arse or a puny chest.
Wayne Hayes said: “I’ve seen a lot of films so I know that after a big argument you either embrace and swearing undying love or simply have amazing sex.
“But it just sort of petered out, I got out my laptop and started looking at random things on eBay and Nikki went in the other room to read her book in a moody way.
“I don’t understand how it hasn’t made things better, so I’ve ordered a book off Amazon called How to Have Better Massive Arguments.”