Men under increasing pressure to become Nazis

MEN across the Western world are under intense social pressure to become Nazis, experts have claimed.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found the ‘Alt-Right’ or ‘Nazi’ movement is forcing men who believe in equality to ask themselves if they are actually ‘real men’.

Tom Logan, from London, said: “As well as believing in equality, I also think a lot of our social and cultural traditions are total bullshit, as is our ‘national mythology’.

“I think believing in those things is stupid and sad and I prefer to focus on the future not the past. But now I’m starting to wonder if not being a Nazi makes me effeminate. Perhaps the Nazis are right and I really am a fragile little snowflake after all.”

Logan added: “I do long to be masculine, so if I become a Nazi would it improve my love-making?

“Would I be able to ride a horse like a cowboy? Would it make me better at barbecuing meat?”

Logan continued: “I found a Nazi online and asked him if all the masculinity had made his girlfriend more attracted to him.

“He said he didn’t have a girlfriend but he would ask his mum.”

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Twats planning something awful

THIS group of twats is working on something truly dreadful, it has emerged.

The older twat, who gets paid shitloads of money, is talking to the younger twats who admire him about marketing, or branding, or some awful thing like that.

The younger twats are thinking about how to gain his approval while also making their co-workers look ineffective.

He is saying: “This is a great chance to create synergy between cool brands.

“We’re going to create some really disruptive content.

“Look at what Coca-Cola did with Pepsi Cola. It was awesome work.

“Social media.”

The group then nods enthusiastically, apart from the woman on the far left who will quit tomorrow.