Sunday, 26th January 2020

Middle class couple upset sending kids to private school has made them 'poor'

A COUPLE who spend thousands of pounds a year on their children’s school fees are sad they are too poor to go skiing this year.

Martin and Francesca Bishop could have sent their children to a state school and had plenty of money, but instead spaffed it up the wall sending them to mediocre private schools.

Martin Bishop said: “Education is important to us, so we’re prepared to go without some essentials so the children can go to a good school. You know, a new Aga and a three-week break in Tuscany.

“I’ve also sacrificed buying a new Audi and Francesca has bravely put off wasting thousands of pounds training to become a shamanistic yoga life coach. That’s how much we love our kids.

“It’s a shame we can’t afford to send Olivia and Henry to boarding school, because then we'd love them so much we’d only have to see them during the holidays.”

Son Henry said: “We’re not going to return the favour when they’re old by paying for them to go into a nice care home.

“It’ll be a state-funded hellhole where they're tied to a chair while they eat their mashed banana. That’s just the sort of people we are.”