Millions Of Britons Now Living On Less Money Than They Would Ideally Prefer

A RECORD number of UK families can’t afford to buy all the shit they want, it emerged last night.

The human cost of sofa cancellation

According to new figures 84% of households lack the financial resources to buy even the most basic unnecessary items.

Tom Logan, a company director whose business has been vaguely hit by recession, recently had to cancel plans to purchase a burgundy ‘Milan’ style corner sofa with adjustable headrests.

He said: “I just feel completely gutted. It would’ve really tied the room together.

“The kids keep asking when the new sofa’s coming and I just say ‘soon, really soon’ and ruffle their hair as they gaze up at me, their big, brown eyes full of hope.

“I just haven’t got the heart to tell them, but I think that somewhere inside they know.”

He added: “The old sofa looks really tired, it’s a sort of oceanic blue colour which was frankly a mistake and if you take the cushions off you can see a mark where my youngest dropped a Jaffa cake and didn’t tell anyone for ages so it sort of festered. We’ve had it since last June.”

Sources at DFS said the new ‘Milan’ sofa would have come in versatile sectional pieces with a matching pouffe.

Logan’s wife Anne said: “Times being what they are, once we’ve paid for food, bills, mortgage, repayments on the cars, satellite TV subscriptions, various sports clubs, the odd DVD box set and taken the kids to TGI’s, there’s nothing left.

“Even if we do manage to borrow some sofa money from somewhere, it’ll be too late for the World Cup.”

Meanwhile, mother-of-two Nikki Hollis saw a top in Whistles that would go perfectly with the blue skirt that she likes, but at £80 she feels that even if she does buy it she will start feeling guilty and take it back a week later.

She said: “I’d like to ask the government why I haven’t got more money.

“George Osborne could lend it to me, either at a reasonable rate of interest or just as a favour, to be nice.”