Modern dads fine with mawkish baby bullshit

MODERN fathers are just as capable as mothers at getting tediously over-emotional about their babies, they have announced.

Increasing numbers of dads are proving they can be horribly sentimental about being a parent in a way that makes others feel nauseous.

31-year-old Tom Booker said: “Having a baby is the most incredible adventure you can go on, apart from actual adventures like going into space or up a mountain.

“I’m always telling people how my son Finlay is my greatest achievement, although I worry about the world I’ve brought him into. That’s so profound they often go away immediately to think about it.

“He’s made me realise there’s more to life than shallow things like making tonnes of money or sleeping with loads of women, which obviously is what I was doing before with great success.

“Sometimes I look into his cot and think, ‘You are the future of humanity.’

“It’s very humbling, although weirdly it also makes me feel pleased with myself.”

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Hostages sort of assumed selfie man was planning to overpower hijacker

HOSTAGES aboard the hijacked EgyptAir plane assumed ‘selfie man’ was planning a heroic act, it has emerged.

26-year-old Ben Innes left his seat to approach hijacker Seif Eldin Mustafa, to the admiration of fellow passengers who did not realise it was to take a picture for Twitter.

Passenger Tom Logan said: “He whispered ‘I’m going in’, and I was like ‘don’t be a hero’.

“Then he stood beside the guy, pulled out his phone and did a cheesy grin.

“I thought it was some bold plan to win the hijacker’s trust but then he said ‘cheers mate’ and when back to his seat.

“In retrospect I feel a little bit angry about it, but only because I didn’t think of it first. If I’m ever in a hostage-type situation again I’ll definitely be thinking about photo opportunities.

“He’ll probably get a book deal now, or get to go on that island thing with Bear Grylls.”

Fellow passenger Emma Bradford said: “Thanks to one man’s quick thinking a terrifying situation ended with an amusing selfie that has gone totally viral. It’s a modern fairy tale.”