Moron thinks everything is an 'ad hominem' attack

A MAN who uses the expression ‘ad hominem’ whenever anyone disagrees with him has no idea what it means, it has emerged.

Martin Bishop believes he is a victim of ad hominem attacks – in which an opponent criticises someone’s character rather than their argument – on a daily basis, and is wrong 90 per cent of the time.

He said: “I was arguing on Twitter with an idiot who refused to accept that Captain Marvel is the best Marvel film. He said I was wrong. That’s clearly ad hominem.

“When I told him to stop making ad hominem attacks he had the nerve to say I didn’t know what it meant, which is itself an ad hominem attack.

“Then today my boss said I needed to stop arguing on Twitter during working hours. I just said ‘pathetic ad hom mate’ and he looked confused. He’s probably not used to arguing with someone who knows brainy Latin words.”

Co-worker Nikki Hollis said: “Martin wrongly thinks ‘ad hominem’ applies to everything. He got a parking ticket recently and called the council ‘money-grubbing ad hominem bastards’.

“Though when I tell people to ignore everything Martin says because he is a dense, pretentious twat, that is an ad hominem attack. But also true.”

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Which British sh*tbag should be the next US ambassador?

THE UK’s ambassador to the USA is going to be fired for not lying about how great Donald Trump is, but who will replace him? 

Tommy Robinson 

Anti-immigration activist, serial criminal and irony-free zone Stephen Yaxley-Lennon has already asked Trump to grant him asylum in America so he’s halfway there already. However it is feared Ivanka Trump may not react well to being aggressively asked if she is West Ham or Milwall.

Piers Morgan

Donald Trump’s favourite intimate crevice cleaner has already demonstrated that if forced to choose country or being allowed to sit next to someone powerful, his country can go f*ck itself. But, hard though it is to believe, he is actually more of a failure in America than here.

Boris Johnson

With his uncanny knack for taking the wrong job at the wrong time, Boris is about to be made prime minister when this soft option, ideally suited to his talents for attending parties and shagging around, came up. The tw*t must be kicking himself.

Prince Andrew

He’s no use here, the Americans are stupid enough to be impressed with him, and he does bugger all but play golf all day. Frankly it’s win-win.

Wee Jimmy Krankie

Like many racist Americans Trump claims to be Scottish because Germans are too Nazi, the French too fancy and Scandinavians too socialist. Sending a septugenarian Scottish pantomime performer – who isn’t a shitbag – who is a woman dressed as a schoolboy might be the final straw and break his ailing brain.