POLICE have explained that most so-called crimes are really just a series of unfortunate coincidences.“There’s always an explanation”
As it emerged that over 1m reported crimes go unrecorded, police explained that burglars were just drunk people who had wandered into the wrong house after going to a party dressed as a ninja.
A police spokesman said: Its easy to get the wrong end of the stick when you wake up to find a black-clad stranger rifling through your belongings, but chances are theyre trying to make themselves a toasted cheese sandwich.
The best thing is to explain that you see the funny side, point them towards the cheddar and return to bed.
He continued: Last week three men went into a bank, pointed their guns at staff and demanded some money. To the layman that might look like a robbery.
But if you stop and examine the situation, its clear they just wanted some pound coins for a parking meter.
Thats why they had a car outside with a driver and the engine running – because they did not have the requisite change and felt uncomfortable leaving the vehicle unattended.
As for the guns, probably they just forgot they were carrying them.
The spokesman added: Think very hard before you call us because it is freezing out there at the moment.