Mothers wondering what half-arsed effort they'll get on Sunday

MOTHERS cannot wait to find out what cheap, lazy attempt at thanks they will receive from their children on Sunday. 

Mums across the UK have their fingers crossed in the hope of a card, supermarket flowers or a pub meal in return for sacrificing 20 years of their lives.

Mary Fisher of Stourbridge said: “Both my boys are grown up now, so I’m confident they’ll surprise me with a lovely late phone call.

“Knowing them as they do, they’ll both claim that they tried to send flowers but the flower place had run out, then end the call within 10 minutes because they want to watch Netflix.

Joanna Kramer agreed: “My daughter Lucy is nine, and I know that all week she’s been half-heartedly gluing shells to a lunchbox because school have made her.

“She’ll tell me I can keep my jewellery in it and then be straight on Minecraft while I make her breakfast.”

Kramer added: “Shit, I really should have got something for my mum. Those nasty-looking chilli chocolates left over from Christmas will do.

“She can have them on Tuesday. I’m not making a special trip.”

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Netflix UK to add another show at some point

NETFLIX UK is to add another show to its line up, bringing the overall total to seven.

The streaming service has yet to confirm what the programme will be or when it will arrive, but early rumours suggest it could be the Canadian sketch show Log Cabinz, which pokes fun at Quebec hipsters.

Meanwhile, industry insiders claimed Netflix has ‘pushed the boat out’ and bought the rights to Mr Magoo IV starring Leslie Nielsen in a zany caper involving the Queen’s corgis and a priceless English scone stolen by the Bulgarian Mafia.

Netflix subscriber Emma Bradford said: “I heard it might be the third season of Only Fools And Horses. I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

The new offering will be the first since last May when Netflix unveiled Fly On The Wall, a reality-nature documentary about the lives of flies on walls.

A Netflix UK spokesman said: “We’re determined to provide the finest two and three star rated film and TV entertainment outside of the VHS collection at your local video shop that closed in 2004.”