Saturday, 11th July 2020

Mum drops off kids 72 hours early for reopening of school

A DILIGENT mother-of-two has left her children at the school gates a full three days before their new term starts on Monday.

Susan Traherne dropped off her children Mia and George with three days’ worth of sandwiches and water to make sure there was no danger of them failing to catch up with their studies.

Her main concern was their long-term educational prospects, but also the fact that they were screaming and attempting to put small change up either other’s noses.

She said: “I’ve really enjoyed home schooling. They’ve painted some awful portraits, shown no aptitude whatsoever for musical instruments, eaten all the food and asked endless mindless questions. 

“But as a responsible parent I felt now – as in ‘now, right now, this very second before I go insane’ – was the time for them to get back into mainstream schooling.

“I hosed them down in the garden, forced them into their uniforms under threat of violence and then jumped every red light on the school run. There’s nothing stronger than a mother’s love.”

Mia and George will spend the next three evenings sheltering in the school bike shed and rationing their packed lunches. Traherne is meanwhile celebrating her parenting triumph with her third large G&T.