Mum gets minute to hear herself think and is hugely disappointed

A MOTHER-OF-TWO who had a rare moment of peace and quiet has been staggered by how inane her thoughts are.

Emma Bradford was eager to find out what creative genius had been drowned out by the white noise of parenting, but instead found herself wondering what happened to the kid from The Sixth Sense. 

She said: “It turns out that I wasn’t missing much.

“I’d imagined, when wiping a four-year-old’s bum, that an hour’s respite would have me penning some beautiful poetry or having an epiphany on the nature of existence.

“Instead after a bit I put on old Big Bang Theory and looked at some memes on my phone.”

Husband Andy Bradford, said: “Yesterday I was showering at the gym and realised I was humming the Ben & Holly theme tune.”

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Cat staring at that part of the wall again

A CAT has been observed staring at a certain part of the wall again for reasons known only to itself.

As three-year-old Arlo stared intently at the nondescript part of the wall in the living room, onlookers suggested he was either looking at some sort of tiny bug or communing with the souls of the dead.

Owner Sarah Thomas said: “I asked him, ‘Arlo, mate, why are you staring at that part of the wall?’.

“”Can you see dead people? Are you using your whiskers to communicate with them?’. And he just looks at me for a second then goes back to staring at the wall.

“If he is communicating with ghosts I wish he could find a way to tell us.”

She added: “Then again, if the ghosts can’t tell us they’re there then it might be a stretch for the cat to tell us, but we live in hope.”