THE parenting website Mumsnet has revealed that it is actually a front for the shadowy cabal that controls the world.
Mumsnet has now infiltrated so many aspects of everyday life that it is ready to institute an oppressive New World Order in time for the summer holidays.
Illuminated Leader Emma Bradford said: “Our constant witterings about kids and minor cooking problems are fucking boring, so the website was the perfect place to hide our sinister secret society.
“What appear to be interminable discussions about whether it’s okay for our ‘darling husband’ to wear their underpants three days in a row are in fact coded messages planning the ruthless control of the entire world population.
“The media are slaves to us. Politicians fear us. We talk in arcane and mysterious acronyms which only our members can understand. We even decide what you’re allowed to read via the Mumsnet Book Club.
“The time has come for us to rise up and make ourselves known as the reptilian shape-shifting overlords that will forever rule the world under the symbol of the All Seeing Eye.
“I’ve just got to pop the washing on first.”