Friday, 29th May 2020

Nation trying to work out whether clapping the NHS makes them a wanker or not

BRITONS are wondering if applauding the NHS is a genuinely good thing or if they are just pathetically following the herd.

With more clapping and pot-banging due again tonight, many people are confused as to whether it is a genuine morale boost or a token gesture few NHS workers will ever hear. 

Tom Logan said: “I really do respect and support our NHS staff, but I’m starting to wonder if me banging a colander with a spoon is really helping that much.

“Maybe we should be doing something tangible like giving them more money. Also it seems to be turning into a weird three-minute street party with car horns and fireworks.

“One guy went a bit over the top by shouting down a megaphone and they’ve been singing 80s anthems from driveways. Somehow ‘We Will Rock You’ doesn’t seem quite appropriate.”   

However neighbour Emma Bradford disagreed: “It’s people like us who are keeping the NHS going. The louder we shout, the harder they work.

“It’s really bringing people together. Apart from the family down our street who just clapped with their hands. Ungrateful scum.”