New bullshit mum type unveiled
A WRITER has invented ‘the chillaxed mega-mum’.
The concept is a cynical marketing ploy to enable talentless former journalist Donna Sheridan to start a TV career.
Sheridan said: “The chillaxed mega-mum is the sort of modern mum who’s juggling work and family but is totally laid-back about it thanks to the tips outlined in my book, CMM: How to Be a Chillaxed Mega-mum.
“She’s climbing the corporate ladder and has a fantastic sex life, but still organises sumptuous Treasure Island-themed kids’ birthday parties while also training for a pilot’s licence and somehow exuding a super-chilled vibe.
“I expect there is a touch of boho to her too, but less so than ‘boho street performer spiritual-but-fun mum’ which is very last year.”
The chillaxed mega-mum is the third bullshit mum type invented since January, following ‘yoga boss affair-having IT power mum’ and ‘time travelling insect expert mum’.
Sheridan, who was on the dole last week, added: “She’s a 21st century phenoma-woman, which is the sort of thing I’ll be saying if I get invited on This Morning, where, if I play my cards right, I will be appearing regularly.”
Actual mum Nikki Hollis said: “I’m a tired slightly overweight mum, I can do a book if you want.
“My top tip is to always eat one biscuit too many.”