Wednesday, 12th May 2021

New car essential for superiority reasons, confirms school-run mum

A WOMAN has confirmed she needs a giant SUV to demonstrate that she earns more than the rest of the parents in her son’s class.

Helen Archer says that having children has forced her and her husband to examine their priorities, which have turned out to be underlining their superiority over other families by getting a huge 4×4.

Muir said: “I can barely manoeuvre it down the two narrow streets between our house and the school, but how else can I make it clear that we’ve also got a cavernous ground floor extension and built-in wine fridge?

“I see all those poor parents walking along like peasants and I just think, is that really the only message you want to give? That you’ve got legs?

“A few parents have pointed out that I’ve nearly knocked over the occasional child. I’ve had to patiently explain that the SUV has a very high chassis to accommodate all the extra features that money buys you.

“They don’t always get that we’re separated not only by car height but also by class.”